


You Won't Be Lonely

by aphorisnt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: But In Space, Fluff and Angst, Lonely Luke, M/M, Online Dating, this started as crack but then emotions happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 03:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21403342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphorisnt/pseuds/aphorisnt
Summary: After years alone on Ahch-To Luke finally makes an attempt to find some companionship but he never expected just who he would find.
Relationships: Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	You Won't Be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icandrawamoth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/gifts).

> This started as a joke about these boys being farmers and then making profiles on Farmers Only but in space ([the ad for the uninitiated](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RvyFFjP7RE)) and then Katie made [this comic](https://corelliaxdreaming.tumblr.com/post/188851338557/from-a-silly-conversation-with-aphorisnt-based) and then this fic happened. It started as crack so I don't know where all the feelings came from but they happened too.

Luke sighed. For all that he appreciated Ahch-To’s solitude after everything that had happened, it still got rather lonely out at the edges of the galaxy with nothing but Porgs and Thala-Sirens and the occasional Lanai caretaker for company, especially at night when it was just him and his thoughts. So there he sat in his hut typing away on the mostly functional datapad he had brought with him. Could a Jedi Master–-_former_ Jedi Master, he corrected himself–hit rock bottom multiple times? Because he thought he’d reached that point years ago but he apparently had farther to go still.

He put the finishing touches on his words and after a quick onceover to check for any egregious errors he clicked the submit button. The he sat back and waited. Part of him wanted to delete the entire thing immediately–it felt pathetic and desperate and embarrassing and he should be fine on his own–but the rest of him was lonely enough to try.

He remembered hearing about Space Farmers Only decades ago when he was still a kid on Tatooine, something a few lonely neighbors had talked about using to find companionship and from what he had heard in town there were a few success stories there. Still, it was never something he’s imagined using himself. But now, here he was, the lonely old hermit breaking his self-imposed exile in the most pathetic way possible because he couldn’t handle being alone. He huffed a laugh at himself. What would Han and Leia think of him now?

As if he didn’t feel lame enough already he gave into the urge to refresh the page, checking to see if a single soul the galaxy over had seen his profile, although logically he knew it was beyond unlikely. Truth be told he doubted anyone would really consider connecting with him given his remoteness, something he planned to maintain in whatever relationship could potentially grow from this. Not many people looking for companionship liked the sound of a relationship constrained to the holonet (unless the other party wanted to journey to the ass end of the galaxy), but desperate times and all that.

He was about to give up and toss the datapad back onto the desk in the corner of his hut and turn in for the night when a soft ping broke through his frustration. Someone had seen his profile. More importantly, someone wanted to talk to him after seeing his profile. Luke was floored. Truthfully he hadn’t expected anything but now here he was, poised for some kind of actual contact.

He clicked on the notification, excitement and anxiety warring in his gut, but nothing could prepare him for what he found. There, at the top of the other profile in dark, bold letters, was the name of the person who had expressed interest in him, the last name he had expected to see and one he had thought unlikely to ever hear again: Wedge Antilles. Surely it had to be a different Wedge, some coincidence and it was a stranger by the same name, or maybe someone using it as a fake name or pretending to be one of the New Republic’s old heroes, or maybe it was a joke. There was no way it could be the same person.

But there was the message, blinking in front of him, the recognition in the words unmistakable.

“Hi. Longtime, no see. If it is you, I mean. The last I heard you were off on your Jedi mission to somewhere out in the galaxy. What are you doing on a site like this?”

Luke was stunned. What in the Force were the chances (and maybe, some part of him whispered, it was the Force trying to nudge him back in the direction of connection with others, though he shut down that line of thinking immediately)? He wanted to reply right away, had a million and one things to say, but he hesitated, quashing that instinct before it could take hold. It had been so long since he and Wedge last spoke and he was a different man now, a broken man, crushed by the betrayal of his nephew and the massacre of his academy and then hardened by his years in solitude. Yes, Wedge had reached out to him, had been the one to send that first tentative thread of connection across the yawning gap of years that stretched between them but the Luke that Wedge remembered was long gone. Would Wedge even want to know him in this state?

And then there was the explaining he would have to do. Luke cringed just at the thought. He would have to recount the sordid tale of all his failures–how he failed his family, the Force, the galaxy–and how he was responsible for this new monster threatening the galaxy as a whole. Again, he wondered if Wedge would even have the slightest interest in associating with him if he knew the truth, knew how Luke had doomed everyone, and for all that Luke had hardened his heart against everything Wedge’s disgust and disappointment and rejection might be thing to actually break him.

Luke decided he would sleep on it, a decision he was sure was mature and best suited to the situation and not at all a thinly veiled excuse to avoid any action for now. He turned the datapad off and stowed it in his makeshift desk in the corner of his hut and tried to put the message out of his mind as he went about the rest of his day.

That night found Luke staring at the ceiling above his narrow cot, consumed by thoughts of what he might say and how Wedge might respond. Thoughts of Wedge hating him once he discovered the truth plagued him, imagining all the ways the other man might reject him outright. And beneath that was the thought that if he ignored it, just let it go to avoid the possible pain, he might never get this opportunity again and Wedge would disappear back into the galaxy where Luke would never find him again.

He groaned, turning over for the last time before he finally gave up on sleep and padded over to his desk in the dark, retrieving the datapad. He sat heavily on his cot and brought up the message again, staring at it until the words blurred before him. He still had no idea what to say if anything and the anxiety twisted in his gut.

Out of a mixture of curiosity and the desire to continue to stall Luke clicked on Wedge’s profile, actually taking a look at more than just the name this time. He was a little surprised to find Wedge on this specific site, but then Wedge had worked on farms as a kid on Corellia so maybe it wasn’t too odd. He looked through the holos, reacquainting himself with the appearance of his old friend. For all the years had worn Wedge down he still looked good, eyes bright, still maintaining some of his musculature and looking rather dashing and distinguished with his graying hair. It seemed retirement was doing him well. More holos showed Wedge on a small homestead. Luke smiled; it seemed Wedge had really gone back to his agrarian roots. There were a few holos just of the property, the modest house, the small field of crops, and a coop of brightly colored keedees. Luke barked a laugh at the next one: the keedees were in the yard pecking at the feed Wedge had strewn over the ground but the adorable man had spread the feed out so the keedees were arranged in a heart shape. Luke smiled fondly. Only Wedge would do something so silly but so genuine. It brought back memories of better days, of Wedge’s sweetness and small gestures that never failed to make Luke grin like an idiot. He felt a pang in his heart, remembering how far away those days were now and how much he had lost. He missed those days. He missed Wedge.

Luke flipped back to the message, the words staring up at him unchanged. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to release his anxieties into the Force like he hadn’t attempted in years. He knew what he wanted, it was just a matter of working up the courage to reach back.

He set the ‘pad down and paced the small distance inside his hut, deftly avoiding the furniture even in the dark and despite his distracted state. He walked in circles as if the path he wore into the ground would reveal to him the answers he sought. He sighed loudly and turned to resume his seat, picking the datapad back up and balancing it in his lap once more. He repeated the earlier deep breathing as if he were trying to center himself the way he might have done in the past and then the last breath in he held. His fingers seemed to move of their own accord, darting out before he had fully registered their motion and then, squeezing his eyes shut he hit the button to submit his reply.

He opened his eyes as he finally exhaled and looked at the screen once more, the familiar words still there but this time joined by one of his own. Just two simple letters but in them hid a world of meaning, a desperate grasp for the connection he’d once had, that he now both desired and feared, all his longing and anxiety and the weight of his memories compressed into a single word.

“Hi.”

Then he had to fight the urge to throw the datapad across his hut like it had bit him as if doing so could erase the whole ordeal from memory. But he didn’t exactly have access to another ‘pad out here and if he lost this one he was kriffed. So instead he placed it gently on his cot.

And then it was back to pacing.

Logically Luke knew the chances of Wedge responding right away were slim, especially given he had no idea which planet the man was on and for all he knew it could be the middle of the night. But logic was hard to hear when emotion was so much louder. Thus the next hour was filled with pacing followed by an attempt to get at least some sleep then back to pacing and so on until exhaustion and old joints forced him back to his cot for good. Not that exhaustion did him a lot of good since he still couldn’t sleep but at least he had burned off some nervous energy.

Suddenly a soft “ping” pierced the silence. Luke jumped at the sound, both startled by the noise and hit with a spike of anxiety. Wedge had responded. He picked up the datapad but before he could look at the message he had to steel himself against his nerves. Then he turned his eyes to the screen.

“Wow,” it read, “I almost didn’t expect a reply! So it really is you, then?”

“Yes, it’s really me,” Luke somehow felt compelled to respond immediately. “And I’m assuming that means it’s really you too.”

“Yep!,” came the reply after a minute. “Wow, I still can’t believe it’s you. What are the chances? So tell me, how have you been? What have you been up to and what are you doing on a site like this? Last I heard from you, you were searching out Jedi stuff. Did you find anything? And where in the galaxy are you, anyway?”

Now Luke hesitated. What was he supposed to tell Wedge? How could he compile the events of his life from the last time they spoke up to this point? How could he lay out all of his trials and all of his failures? How could he relay the turmoil that some days threatened to swallow him whole? There were no words he felt could adequately describe everything that had happened, at least none that he knew, and that wasn’t even touching on the sheer terror of laying himself bare for someone else to see. Once he might have trusted Wedge enough to tell him everything, confident there would be no harsh judgement or rejection, but now, with all the years and all the distance between them, Luke wasn’t sure what to think. After all, he had become a very different man in those years, who was to say Wedge hadn’t changed too?

Before he could even begin to gather himself to formulate some sort of reply another message appeared on the screen.

“Sorry, that was a lot of questions, you don’t have to answer all of them. Or any of them if you don’t want to. We can talk about something else, anything you want.”

Now Luke felt a little guilty for his mistrust–it was Wedge; what was he thinking–-and now he again felt the urge to say something. He would just choose his words carefully.

“No, it’s all right,” he finally decided on, “I can tell you some, it’s just a very long story. I’m on a planet called Ahch-To. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of it, it’s way out in the Unknown Regions and the native population is pretty small. I did find some of that Jedi stuff, though I won’t bore you with the details, and everything I found led me here.” He carefully sidestepped the other questions. Then, to keep Wedge from asking more, he turned it back on the other man. “But what about you? How have you been these past years?”

“I’ve been good. Mostly enjoying retirement. I decided to get back to my roots, do some farming like when I was a kid, and as much as I miss flying it’s been really nice. It’s peaceful out here away from the core. But then I guess it’s also kind of lonely. The farms are pretty spread out so I don’t see the neighbors a lot and I don’t bother going into town more than I have to. Which I guess is why I’m here, just looking for someone to talk to.”

Luke smiled to himself, feeling a little less pathetic. “I guess that’s why I’m here too. I saw that holo of your keedees,” he added by way of keeping the conversation going. “The heart thing was cute.”

“You don’t think it’s too silly?” Wedge asked, and Luke could almost hear the slight embarrassment in his voice.

“No, not at all, I think it’s really sweet.”

“Well I’m glad you like it.”

Silence, or the text equivalent, stretched after that. Wedge had messaged last so technically it was Luke’s turn to continue the conversation but he had no idea what to say. When had talking to Wedge become so awkward? Before they had been incredibly close, the best of friends and maybe more, though they didn’t really spend enough time together consistently to figure that last part out, and somewhere, buried within him, Luke still felt that closeness. But whatever connection they had now felt strained and frayed, just a thin thread where there had once been a durasteel cable, and Luke wasn’t sure how to rebuild that link or if he even wanted to (he did, Force, he did, but the prospect sent anxiety churning in his gut).

Finally Wedge seemed to give up on Luke replying and sent another message, but after reading it Luke almost wished he hadn’t.

“Hey. So this might be weird but I just want to say it,” Wedge began, and Luke was already on edge about what that could portend. “I don’t really know what’s happened to you or what you’ve been through but from the pieces I have and just what’s happening in the galaxy I’m assuming it wasn’t good. And I’m not saying you have to tell me but I just want to let you know if you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen. I know it’s been a long time but you’re still my friend and I still care about you, and if I can be there for you I want to do what I can. I’m sorry if this is weird to say but still, I just wanted you to know.”

Luke didn’t know how to respond. Wedge was right, it had been a long time, and the gap between them yawned wide, but Luke couldn’t help his desire to reach out and grasp those threads and the support the offered. The silence stretched again as Luke deliberated, fingers hovering over the keys to send his response.

As if sensing his discomfort Wedge fired back again. “I’m sorry if saying this brought up some bad stuff or if it made you uncomfortable, I promise that wasn’t my intention, and I do mean it, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to, and if talking isn’t something you want to do just tell me to kriff off and I’ll never bring it up again. But I also meant what I said about wanting to help you. I’m not expecting you to tell me anything, I’m just saying you can.” And then one more message, this one thick with Wedge’s own worry and self-deprecation. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t make things weird or uncomfortable and I get it if this is too much and you don’t want to talk anymore. If I’m being too pushy I can leave you alone if you want.”

That spurred Luke into action. For all his fears he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Wedge, especially when this might be his one chance to get Wedge back. “No, please don’t go,” he began, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate. “You’re right, I have been through some things. Some bad things. But it’s a long story and I’m not sure I’m ready to tell it.” He squeezed his eyes shut and his breathing picked up the moment he sent the reply. This slight peek into his heart and mind and into his past was the most vulnerable Luke had been with anyone in years, even himself, and that terrified him. But at the same time he felt his heart lighten. There it was in the open for someone else to see, acknowledgement that he had been through the ringer even if he didn’t say what or how. Even sharing that small bit of truth with Wedge was its own relief, as if Luke had finally been able to release some of the weight he had been carrying since everything fell apart. “But thank you,” he added at the last second.

“I completely understand,” Wedge sent back after a moment, “and it’s ok if you’re not ready to talk yet. Just know that when you are I’m here.”

“Thank you,” Luke said again, meaning it all the more.

“Any time.

“Now, I’m sorry, but I actually have to go. The keedees need feeding and I’ve got a lot of work I need to do around the farm today. But I will send you a message as soon as I’m done and hopefully we can talk more.”

“Yeah,” Luke replied, a soft smile gracing his face. “I would like that.”

“Great! I’ll probably be done around the farm in about four or five hours so if you’re still around by then we can talk more.”

“I think I should still be here.” Truthfully Luke knew he would; there weren’t much in the way of pressing tasks in his life now so availability wasn’t a problem.

“Perfect! I will talk to you then. Bye for now!”

“Goodbye.” Luke prepared to shut off his datapad for the next few hours but one more message came in from Wedge.

“And Luke? I’m really glad I found you again.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, his smile widening and for the first time in so long he felt a spark of hope for the future kindle in his chest. “I am too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! find me on tumblr @aphorisnt


End file.
